Archive for the 'Fun' Category

Hey, Scruffy! Fetch the remote! Good boy!

A description of the latest in remote control technology:

Constructed of a soft, flesh-like gel, the remote appears cold when off. Once turned on, however, it seems to come to life. Left undisturbed, the remote will slumber peacefully. Buth should a human hand approach, sensors inside alert it to the imminent touch. It stops breathing, and grows rigid.

Apparently, Panasonic is serious about marketing this thing.

While touring the Great Pyramids of Giza, President Obama found an ancient hieroglyphic that looked like a caricature of himself. See video here.

The Bagger 288 was built by the Soviets, who used it to cut Germany in half. Presently, it’s being used to defend Earth from Godzillas and doom robots from the future.

I think everyone loves the Bagger 288. Some hipsters liked it so much that they made a great music video about it. The video gets the history of the Bagger 288 a bit wrong, but I think you’ll enjoy it anyway:

If Sammy’s baseball skills were people, I would embrace their genocide

NOTE: In the comments section of this post, reader Bedrocktruth said that I could double or triple my readership by posting stories about feel-good family subjects, like Little League baseball. I don’t think the tone of this blog is really suited to those kinds of stories, but Bedrock worked in the newspaper business for 89 years, so I figure he must know what he’s talking about. So here’s my Little League baseball story:

***

7 year-old Sammy Klein of the Udall Park Pandas (Tucson, AZ) is quite possibly the worst baseball player of all time, and on Memorial Day his lack of talent cost the Pandas a game they should have won easily.

Playing away from home against the Ft. Lowell Rangers, and with the game tied at 11 in the bottom of the sixth inning, Klein allowed leadoff hitter Kevin Garcia’s slow ground ball to roll right through his legs. Remember when Bill Buckner let a ground ball go through his legs in the ‘86 World Series? Imagine Buckner then turning around to run after the ball, which rolled to a stop just a few feet behind him, and accidentally kicking it past the right fielder, resulting in a game winning, inside-the-park home run. And imagine if that wasn’t even the worst play that Buckner made that day.

Klein was hopeless at the plate, striking out three times on a grand total of ten pitches. The only reason it took more than nine pitches was that on the first pitch of his second at-bat, Sammy was waving to his mom in the crowd from the batter’s box, and didn’t begin his swing until after the pitch hit the catcher’s glove. And after every strikeout “Special K” Klein would flash a dopey smile that makes him look like an only slightly more intelligent version of Glenn Beckkk.

Glenn Beckkk really is as dumb as he looks

But it’s in the field where Sammy Klein’s talent really fails to shine. He goes after ground balls like they were live grenades, and his throwing is as accurate as Dick Cheney’s shooting. It became evident early on that the Ranger’s strategy revolved around hitting the ball toward Klein whenever possible, since every kid who hit the ball to Klein came away with at least a double.

It was a real Hall of Shame performance for young Sammy, who said in a postgame interview that he’d like to play for the New York Yankees one day. I think that the dream of having Sammy Klein strike out and drop fly balls while in a Yankees uniform is one that we can all embrace.

Play him off, Keyboard Gato!

***

I can’t end this without mentioning the fact that the Rangers and the Pandas have the exact same color uniform, which leads to some of the dimmer kids not realizing which team is in the field at any given time. On two separate occasions when kids were called to take their turn at bat, they grabbed their gloves and tried to run to their fielding positions.

This isn’t a coincidence. There are four teams in the league that wear the exact same color blue, and two that wear the same shade of red. I think it’s time that the Tucson Little League either make sure that all the uniforms are a different color, or stop allowing stupid kids to play.

It’s occurred to us that we’ve not had one of our caption competitions for quite a while.

Also, since we’ve lately been enjoying some amazingly, unseasonably hot April weather around here, we’ve been out & about a bit with our battered old “Brownie Box”.

OK, so we’ve fibbed a bit about the Brownie, but when did we ever pass up absolutely any chance to mega-milk almost any kind of elongated/extended “alliteration” opportunity — at all?

Anyway, coupling those first few sentences with our (so often, so obviously), shameless personal narcissusism, we’ve decided to display one of our own photos this time.

Over to you.

(Cross posted from How This Old Brit Sees It)

Michelle Malkin:

Malkin was created when an angry elephant drank 20 gallons of milk, causing it to puke up the entire contents of its stomach. Unfortunately, those contents had congealed into the wingnut now known as Michelle Malkin, and Malkin has loved elephants and all things white ever since.

I’ve got a couple of videos for you today, one heartwarming and one satirical.

First, the Easter Bunny Gospel:

Next, it’s the saddest McDonald’s commercial in history. You couldn’t get away with this one in the US, but in the Philippines they’re better able to deal with tragedy. It’s in Tagalog, so I’ll provide the translation after:

Read the rest of this entry »

from Perry Bible Fellowship (click to embiggen)

from Triangle Dude Comics (click to embiggen)